Where in the World is Molly…

Hello!

It’s been some time since my last blog post. I’ve been going through a lot of stuff these past few weeks. Well, technically this past half year. As I’ve talked about in my previous posts, I’ve mentioned mental health, being vegan, and moving to the middle of nowhere. And these are things that I’ve been struggling with. Now, I’m going to be super real with you guys.

Life is not easy. I take every aspect of life WAY too seriously. I am a pretty sarcastic person, but I struggle with pretty much everything I see, do, or say. Lately I have been letting anxiety get to me so bad that it has literally been paralyzing me. I’ll have days where my arms go numb, mornings where I couldn’t feel my legs. Even moments I just wanted to run out the front door and keep running till I could escape the depression. Now, when I say depression, I do not mean my everyday life. I actually love my life. My husband and girls are heaven. So why the drama you say? Because I can’t help it. The depression comes from not being able to control things (OCD), it comes from stress and anxiety over things that may not even happen, and it comes from overthinking. I find myself so trapped inside my own head and thoughts that it literally scares me.┬áMoving somewhere I don’t have friends and family wasn’t so great for my mental health. But I’m smart enough to talk to my friends and family about it and I even went to the doctor.

When you factor in other things while going through all of this like being vegan and trying to lose weight, it tends to make matters worse. Since I’m so controlling I felt like when I tightened the reigns on my diet, I was sucking the joy out of my life. I was being overly oppressive to myself. And then when I stopped trying to tighten the reigns, my body didn’t know how to handle all of the change and well…I got sick. Some sort of bug, and I’m still dealing with the repercussions. But now I can say that i’m letting go of my grip on my eating and choosing to eat intuitively. Which makes me happier, and makes me learn to accept myself more.

What I want to say in all of this is…

RE-MEET YOURSELF. LEARN WHO YOU ARE. BE YOU AND NOBODY ELSE.

I mentioned this in my last post. Own it. We always say to people, “Just be yourself.” But I don’t think a lot of people mean it when they say that. And a lot of people don’t want to show who they truly are, in fear of not being accepted. When I think about why I’m so scared to be myself, I think back to a time where I was with a friend from high school and she looked at me and said, “I was wondering if you were working out. Because you look a lot different than you did in high school.” Or something along those lines. I was so embarrassed and felt shamed. She said that to me in front of my husband too. I felt ugly all of a sudden and felt like my high school self was ripped away from me. Like it was impossible for me to still be her. This friend that said that wasn’t trying to be hurtful, she was just honestly shocked when she saw me for the first time in about a year or two. (This also happened about 2 years ago and I’ve lost about 20 lbs since then).

We don’t realize how harmful we are to each other on a daily basis. I don’t think she ever realized that her words have stayed with me ever since. They have been playing over and over in my head and I have been trying to out run them ever since. But you know what…that stops today.

I am not going to let the world, old friends, new friends, or anyone in-between tell me who I am or what I should look like. I am going to re-learn who I am, what I like, and learn to love looking at my beautiful face in the mirror. Life if too short to be worried about such surface level things. I will never let myself become unhealthy, but I am not going to suck the joy out of my life just because I don’t look a certain way.

Also, DAMN RIGHT I’M NOT THAT GIRL I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. I’m better than her. I’m smarter, braver, stronger, and I actually like how I look as a woman vs. a child. Thank you very much. So, the woman you’ll be hearing from here on out, is one who is TRULY herself, and is going to own her life so hard it’ll be hard to miss ­čśë

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8 Ways to Motivate Your Friends

There are days where I find myself sitting here thinking about loved ones that are struggling or ones that just need some encouragement to move forward in life. We all get stuck, and when we’re in the thick of it all we feel like we are alone and that nobody cares. Do you know that you can do something to help your friends in a bigger way than you ever imagined? Here are 8 ways to encourage and motivate your friends towards a happier day, week, or lifestyle!

  1. Tell them you love them! Plain and simple. We don’t hear the word love enough in today’s society. It’s crazy how many people seem unloving and cranky when we go out day to day. But giving your friend a quick call or text and saying, “Hey, I love you! I hope you have a beautiful day!” That shows them that you’re thinking about them and that they aren’t alone in this sometimes depressing world.
  2. Support them in their endeavors. This is my favorite way to show my friends love and encouragement and help them towards being more motivated! Do you have a friend that’s a missionary? Can you eliminate the price of your one coffee a week and send them $5 or $10 dollars? What about a friend that is an aspiring writer? Encourage them to keep going. Give them happy criticism! Not all criticism has to be negative. We beat ourselves up all on our own. Build your friends up. Don’t knock them down.
  3. Take action for them. Is there a project or something that they have been meaning to do around the house that they just haven’t gotten to because they are overwhelmed with work? Do it for them. It’s a free way to give someone a gift! Build that bookshelf. Clean their car. Offer to watch their dog or kid on your day off!
  4. Do a hard task with them! My biggest example in this is exercise. Is your friend working hard to lose some weight or have they changed their diet recently? Do it with them! It benefits you both! Who knew that losing weight could be so much fun when you do it with a friend!
  5. Buy them a gift. The go-to way of loving on someone. Send them flowers or chocolates. Or go above and beyond and buy them something that could really benefit their day to day. Do they have chronic back pain from sitting at their desk all day? Buy them a back massager. Or a better chair. Or even a gift certificate to a spa! Are they an inspiring Youtuber? Check out their Amazon wish list and buy them something that will help their channel!
  6. Go on a trip! Sometimes the best way to move forward is by taking a bunny trail along the way! As a creator or someone who is chasing their dreams you need the occasional escape from your own head space. Show them what it’s like to let go for a day!
  7. Have a pow wow. A sit down. A time to just talk through all their struggles, vent, and how you could help! I find this the most efficient way to figure out how to help motivate my friends. Or this is motivation in itself. Just being able to get all your thoughts out and get someones opinion is the best form of motivation in my book. It will give you the time to encourage them in what they are doing or thinking. Which in turn will give them the motivation to move forward in their actions!
  8. Take them on your journey. Are you a singer in a band? Do you have a friend that is a social media manager? Ask them to work with you! Let them be involved in what you are doing. I find that the best friends in life are the ones we will take with us no matter where we go. Do you have a giant platform and they are just starting out? Give them the boost they need by mentioning them in your post, video, or performance. You’d be surprised how much that will motivate them to further their goals.

In the end my biggest point is to love on the people around you. It never killed anyone to show someone kindness and appreciation. Love is the key to any door.

Making Friends as an Adult

This topic is widely discussed. I haven’t met a single person over the age of twenty-five that doesn’t struggle with making friends. Why are friends so important? Can we survive off of long distance relationships? In my opinion? Friends are very important, but yes I do believe we can survive with only long distance friendships. If that is what you choose.

I myself, having recently moved to the middle of nowhere, have very little opportunity to make friends without having to go way out of my way to do so. I’ve established that the only way to make friends here is by getting deeply involved in my church. Which I have yet to do. I prioritize my family and long distance relationships, which in turn doesn’t leave me much time to socialize with people twenty minutes away. I think like anything in life, if having friends close by is a necessity to you, then you need to put your best foot forward and try.

Now, when we do try and make friends with someone, why is it so hard to keep up with the relationship? Does it feel forced? Are you actually interested in the friendship? Just because we meet with someone occasionally at a church event or even go out for a cup of coffee doesn’t mean we are obligated from then on to be best friends with the person. Where I lived previously I had the habit of making acquaintances instead of friendships. But through that I made some decent coffee friends and found people I truly care about. There is no rule book when it comes to how you make friends and how often you talk or spend time together.

Since I’ve moved I’m at a point in my life where I’d rather cultivate life long friendships with my long distance friends than try too hard to meet anyone new. Not because I’m anti-social, but because I find myself absorbed in my creativity and growing in that aspect. I’ve never had an opportunity like this to have such freedom of social obligations and I’m relishing it with so much delight. Wherever you find yourself in your adult life in regards to the friendship equation, I hope you stay open to the idea of a possible friendship and understand that this life is difficult and as adults we need one another to lean on. Don’t give up! There are so many people in this life and there is more than one out there for you to let in. Be brave my caterpillars!

The Middle of Nowhere

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I live in the middle of nowhere. They call it a village. Maybe 180 people live here. The closest friends I have live 2 hours away. It’s one of those towns where they literally don’t even have a gas station. That’s a 10 minute drive at least. And it’s in a town where the pumps stay open late, but the gas station doesn’t. If I’m having a nightly craving for chocolate it’s a 20 minute drive there and back. I’m sitting here listening to Joao Gilberto and dreaming of sunny beaches or Bali. It’s a high of 70 degrees and I’m inside. This wasn’t the plan. I intended to go running. Oh writing, how you enticed me.

I never understood why in movies the main character would go to the middle of the woods or somewhere secluded to write. Not until now did I realize the beauty of seclusion. I have never been more creative in my life. All of this passion came pouring out onto paper and now this.

Looking out my window the masses of birds are flying from one tree to another. It’s mating season. At times if you open my front door you’ll hear chirping so loud you’d have to yell to talk. Now…I’m terrified of birds. One too many have pooped on ┬ámy head. I’ve heard that that’s lucky! I’d trade my luck for a less disgusting encounter.

I take the middle of nowhere for granted. I get depressed at times when I think of my days of driving or walking 5 minutes to sip on a cup of coffee at my favorite coffee shop. I may hate birds, but boy do I love my coffee. Mmm. However, if I have any this late I’ll never get to sleep. The sun will be up for a few more hours and I’m always sad when it goes. I can never tire of the sunlight. I joke that I’m a flower to my friends as I pose like one and sit in the windowsill. There is such peace in the sunlight.

Finding something to be thankful about in the middle of nowhere seems almost impossible on a cloudy day, but not today. I thank God for days like this, and for my little village.