My Third Big Adventure

Wow…so much has changed. Last time we talked I was at a very low point in my life. This blog was something that was keeping me alive and helped me cope through a very difficult period of my life. We had moved to the middle of nowhere, and I was struggling with depression and isolation. It has been almost a year since that time. Never did I think I’d be where I’m at now!

We moved back home. Where we moved from originally. We rented a house for a while, and recently purchased what I’m calling “Our forever home”. I do not plan on moving again anytime soon. This foundation has brought me so much peace and happiness. We have a place to raise our daughters that’s familiar to us all and near friends and family.

Now we are expecting our third little girl! Little Baby Beckham! My third and most likely final pregnancy! I never talked much about my girls in the past. I like to keep that part of my life under wraps, but I realized that was because I was blogging for my mental health in the past, and not to share my day to day. I’m here to say that’s going to change. I will be blogging about mental health and growth, but I’m also going to mommy blog a bit and share my life experiences with you! I hope you all keep following me on my journey of transformation, and I can’t wait to get to know you and for you to truly get to know me!





Why I Left Social Media Permanently

So, many of you may know that I chose to leave social media. I have deleted my Facebook account after more than a decade, I never liked Twitter, so that was a happy delete, and I just deleted my Instagram account which probably hurt me the most. I love Instagram, but it was just time for me to move on.

Now I’m sure plenty of you are asking, why not just temporarily deactivate them?  Well, because my self-control only lasts about a month. Maybe two tops. I am tired of feeling this “responsibility” to social media. I found myself spending most of my day with my daughters obsessively checking my phone and popping on Instagram and watching Insta-stories. This isn’t healthy. Nor is it natural.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But for me it was unhealthy for my mind and overall made me feel bad about my appearance or what I had or was doing in life. For a lot of people social media doesn’t have such a hold on them. But for me it always held this stigma of showing how successful you were doing or show that perfect picture of how your day is going. I just can’t have a healthy platform on social media and be representing my real life in a real light. To me it all felt like a lie, or just made me feel like I couldn’t measure up to everyone else.

So, with that said, my blog is a place where I can be myself. I’m not promoting it on any platforms, and it helps me to de-stress and escape! I’d love to start blogging more regularly. Please let me know if there is something you’d like me to talk about!

Not My Best Hair Day, But my Butt Looks Good!


(Not my best hair day)


Hola mi amigas or mi amigos! I want to talk about body positivity today. Not specifically weight, but more specifically why we put ourselves down. If you could tell me one thing that you think of when you get out of bed in the morning, what would that be? Is it about breakfast, your day, what you’ll wear, your health? Okay, now what is the second thing you thinking? Because I bet it’s something in the body shaming category. For example, “Mmm, I’m going to have donuts for breakfast!!!” and then comes the guilt, “Ugh, I’m so fat.” Why do we do this to ourselves? If we start off our day in such negative ways IT WILL lead to a bad day, and eventually depression.

I have been surrounding myself with things and ideas lately. Telling myself to think only good things about my body. If we can tell ourselves the bad things and we believe them, why can’t we think good things and have the same effect? I’m taking steps towards inching out of my shell. Wearing tighter clothes (modestly), and learning to accept that curves and lumps and bumps are natural. I’m tired of hiding in “tents”  and I want to enjoy wearing things that make me happy. If I’m wearing something that makes me happy, it’ll inevitably make my day brighter. These of course are all very surface level things.

The root of the problem comes from within. Learning to transform how we think about ourselves should transform how we think about others and should help us be happier and kinder. You can’t make people think how you want them to think. If that were the case everyone would eat, dress, and act the same. So learning to love your body will only come when you’re ready. And when I say love your body, I mean LOVE your body. Look in the mirror and be happy that you have a belly, extra chin fat, or big thighs. I love being me, and all those things come along with it. I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I choose to be uniquely me, and I choose to love the skin I’m in.


What is holding you back from loving yourself? When you say you’re trying, are you really? What do you love most about yourself?

Where in the World is Molly…


It’s been some time since my last blog post. I’ve been going through a lot of stuff these past few weeks. Well, technically this past half year. As I’ve talked about in my previous posts, I’ve mentioned mental health, being vegan, and moving to the middle of nowhere. And these are things that I’ve been struggling with. Now, I’m going to be super real with you guys.

Life is not easy. I take every aspect of life WAY too seriously. I am a pretty sarcastic person, but I struggle with pretty much everything I see, do, or say. Lately I have been letting anxiety get to me so bad that it has literally been paralyzing me. I’ll have days where my arms go numb, mornings where I couldn’t feel my legs. Even moments I just wanted to run out the front door and keep running till I could escape the depression. Now, when I say depression, I do not mean my everyday life. I actually love my life. My husband and girls are heaven. So why the drama you say? Because I can’t help it. The depression comes from not being able to control things (OCD), it comes from stress and anxiety over things that may not even happen, and it comes from overthinking. I find myself so trapped inside my own head and thoughts that it literally scares me. Moving somewhere I don’t have friends and family wasn’t so great for my mental health. But I’m smart enough to talk to my friends and family about it and I even went to the doctor.

When you factor in other things while going through all of this like being vegan and trying to lose weight, it tends to make matters worse. Since I’m so controlling I felt like when I tightened the reigns on my diet, I was sucking the joy out of my life. I was being overly oppressive to myself. And then when I stopped trying to tighten the reigns, my body didn’t know how to handle all of the change and well…I got sick. Some sort of bug, and I’m still dealing with the repercussions. But now I can say that i’m letting go of my grip on my eating and choosing to eat intuitively. Which makes me happier, and makes me learn to accept myself more.

What I want to say in all of this is…


I mentioned this in my last post. Own it. We always say to people, “Just be yourself.” But I don’t think a lot of people mean it when they say that. And a lot of people don’t want to show who they truly are, in fear of not being accepted. When I think about why I’m so scared to be myself, I think back to a time where I was with a friend from high school and she looked at me and said, “I was wondering if you were working out. Because you look a lot different than you did in high school.” Or something along those lines. I was so embarrassed and felt shamed. She said that to me in front of my husband too. I felt ugly all of a sudden and felt like my high school self was ripped away from me. Like it was impossible for me to still be her. This friend that said that wasn’t trying to be hurtful, she was just honestly shocked when she saw me for the first time in about a year or two. (This also happened about 2 years ago and I’ve lost about 20 lbs since then).

We don’t realize how harmful we are to each other on a daily basis. I don’t think she ever realized that her words have stayed with me ever since. They have been playing over and over in my head and I have been trying to out run them ever since. But you know what…that stops today.

I am not going to let the world, old friends, new friends, or anyone in-between tell me who I am or what I should look like. I am going to re-learn who I am, what I like, and learn to love looking at my beautiful face in the mirror. Life if too short to be worried about such surface level things. I will never let myself become unhealthy, but I am not going to suck the joy out of my life just because I don’t look a certain way.

Also, DAMN RIGHT I’M NOT THAT GIRL I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. I’m better than her. I’m smarter, braver, stronger, and I actually like how I look as a woman vs. a child. Thank you very much. So, the woman you’ll be hearing from here on out, is one who is TRULY herself, and is going to own her life so hard it’ll be hard to miss 😉

Own It.

What type of person are you? Are you the creative type? Someone who writes music? Are you someone who spends way too much time behind a computer screen playing video games? Are you penning the next great novel in your free time? How would you describe yourself? And my biggest question, are you afraid of what others think?

I have always been afraid of what others think. I still am. It’s something deeply embedded from about the age of six. I’m sure it all started with some rude girl saying my legs were too hairy at a young age. That’s when I started shaving. Over the years I’ve learned to put up defenses. I use sarcasm as a mask to hide behind. I puff up my chest like I could take on anyone. I’m what you call scrappy. But when it boils down to it…I’m still afraid. WHY? Why are we so afraid of one another? Who cares if someone doesn’t like how I dress? Or who cares if someone doesn’t like what I post?

We are only human. It hurts our ego, pride, and feelings. I’ve been told to stop being so sensitive. I now raise two girls to own who they are. If they’re sensitive, that’s okay, I tell them to cry it out. I give them that extra love, and encourage them to be strong. My biggest line to them lately has been, “Princesses can save themselves.” We are strong, smart, beautiful women who can do anything they set their minds too. If only I could take my own advice. The lesson I’ve learned the most in the role of mother is to be the woman you want your daughters to look up to. Someone they aspire to be.

I’m quirky, a deep thinker, my favorite people are the ones who seem the most imperfect. Probably because I’m the same way. I over share what’s on my mind. I start a thousand projects only to finish maybe three of them. I’m constantly changing my taste in clothes, music, books, etc. All because I want to better myself. But when does that end? When will I reach a point where I feel like I’m the “perfect” version of myself? I’m always telling my daughters to own who they are. So why don’t I?

Have you ever noticed that the people we watch and look up to the most are the most unique individuals? Haley Williams of Paramore is the first person who comes to mind. There is no one like her. She owns her personality. Just because someone copies how she dresses or sings does not take away from who she is as a person. We all need to own who we are. Life is too short to keep trying to find approval for everything we do and it’s WAY too short to try to be like someone else. Because in the end you realize you can never be that person. No matter how hard you try. So, I ask you today, can you own it? Can you own who you are? The best version of yourself is already in you. Just stop suppressing them! Let your freak flag shine!

How to Bounce Back: Depression

I never know when it’s going to hit. Some times are worse than others. It’s my least favorite place to be. A deep dark hole of sadness where you feel like you are completely alone and no one could possibly understand or help you. You feel like this feeling will last forever. How could you possibly go on with your life? You want to melt into the sofa and never be found again.

This was me a few nights ago. It’s not like I plan to feel this way. I never go into my day thinking, “I’m going to be depressed today!” No. I wish I could control it, because then I’d never choose to have it. There are so many things I could say about depression. It’s genetic. It’s an illness. But even in the thick of it, it’s about how you deal with it. Let me start with a very quick reason of why I’ll never let my depression go too far. My dad committed suicide when I was 5. That’s all I’ll say. Maybe that’s a post for another time. Needless to say, I know how depression, bipolar, addiction, etc can effect families and I would NEVER do that to mine.

I find that it takes me a day or two to bounce back from what I like to call an episode of depression. I’m not depressed everyday. I don’t even look at my life in a depressed way. So that’s why I call them episodes. As a woman people just say I’m hormonal. But for those of you who have depression or depression episodes you know that it’s something more. Now that it’s been a few days I’ve managed to bounce back! I’ve been doing this for so long that I’ve seemed to find a rhythm of how to go through theses ups and downs. And that’s what I want to share with you.

I start by talking to the person closest to me. My husband. Adding people to that equation works as well. I normally pick one of my three best friends and just dump all my craziness on her through a text, phone call, or facetime. Just spilling every little detail of my emotions helps immensely! After that my husband and I talk about how to work towards a better place. Whether that be in our personal life, friends, family, social setting, etc. Then, since this normally happens right before bed, I get a good nights rest. The next day I feel like I’m recovering from an emotional hangover. So I take that day and pamper myself. Just in little ways. Drinking plenty of coffee, eating whatever I want, binge watching t.v. shows, opening windows and letting in the fresh air. And by day 3 (today) I feel pretty much rejuvenated, and I’m asking myself why I panicked so much. Obviously, every-time is different. Not every time do I want to talk to someone.

My biggest advice to you is TALK TO SOMEONE. Do not go through this alone. It will only make the healing process take longer and you’re more likely to do something you’d regret. Working through dealing with your highs and lows like they are a normal part of life will help you get through them for the rest of your life. They may not be something that will go away no matter what direction your life takes, but I can tell you that life gets better. They do get easier to deal with, and having those people in your life to help you through those times makes ALL the difference.

Please, please, please, if you’re having a hard time with depression and or have suicidal thoughts please call 1-800-273-8255. Or if you just want to talk feel free to email me at We need to stand by each other and help each other in these times of need. Don’t feel like you’re a burden. God handpicked you to be on this earth. You have so much to live for.